A Whole Lot of Emotions

It's amazing to me how one minute I can think I'm just fine with all of this, and within a matter of minutes, a whole lot of emotions have a way of flooding over me.

Harris and I had just said good-bye after a lunch with some business associates today, and before my van was even out on the street, I found myself calling home to have the kids put the flower pots inside the porch because a big nasty storm was brewing and coming on quickly. They didn't answer the home phone, but Kelsey answered her cell phone and quickly told me that they were on a walk and that I needed to pick them up right away. Before I could even get to them, she called and said that someone offered to give them a ride, and they had to make a hasty decision on whether or not to take it, knowing full well that that is against our rules. Thankfully God provided a nice honest person, and they all arrived home safely. Our French student just encountered a typical Iowa thunderstorm!

While they were tucked safely away in the basement, I was up here monitoring the storm and discovered an email from a missionary from our church who must have read my last blog entry and who wrote to encourage me with regard to the lack of communication we've been receiving. Before I could even read through it all, my Facebook messenger alerted me that Haley had just posted a status update!! I was so excited and quickly opened up my chat box so we could visit a little bit, and just that fast she had to go again. My heart had leapt for joy and then took a big nose dive all within about one minute. She wrote just enough to let me know that they are safe and have all their bags (praise God!!) and that she's seen one snake and they have no phones. That's it! I am thankful for the report and the fact that she's alive and well, but after much anticipation and thinking we MIGHT get a chance to have a real conversation, even if just for five minutes, my hopes were devastated just that fast. I went back to reading Jennifer's email and have just been trying to sort through it all in my mind ever since.

Am I worried about her? No, she's in God's hands, and my heart is at peace, and I know I can trust Him with her. Am I missing her? Yep, I guess so! I just wish we could communicate long enough for me to ask a few questions and hear her heart and know how she's really doing. Is that too much to ask? Maybe.

I think it boils down to the fact that I need to not have so many expectations and just be thankful for the little tiny snippets of info that we get. I think God's just teaching us a little more about letting go and trusting Him.

Thanks for walking with me on this journey. Somehow it just feels better to pound it out on a keyboard.