Harris still has one grandma who has lived in the Alzheimer's unit longer than anyone else there, and then I have one set of grandparents who are still living in their own home. My 93-year-old grandpa still spends much of his days working out in any one of his three gardens, and my grandma, who will be 90 in January, spends her days welcoming spontaneous visitors and somehow always has a cup of coffee and a plate of cookies ready to serve and never makes anyone feel as though she has more important things to do than visit. I want to be just like them.
Eighteen years ago when I was six months pregnant with Haley, someone in this particular family decided to have a family campout. You see, my grandpa and grandma had 12 kids, and it was becoming harder and harder to find a time to get them all together, and setting aside four nights to camp together seemed like a really good idea to someone. For some families that might not work, but little did we know then that that idea would become not only a tradition but the glue that would help this growing family stick together.
There are a lot of us. I'm the oldest of 41 grandkids, and there are 64 great-grandkids with 3 more due to arrive this fall. That doesn't even include a few stepkids or all of the spouses! The tradition has become more and more special as the years go by, and many who live out of state use this opportunity every year to come and see Grandpa and Grandma. Even second and third cousins actually know and love each other, and it has been awesome to see all those relationships develop over the years.
Haley knew that her trip to Africa meant she would not be able to attend the 18th Annual De Boef Family Campout 2010, and it saddened her greatly. The only salve for the wound was the fact that her second cousin Grant, who was born the weekend of our very first campout, was going to be at boot camp all summer, and he wouldn't be there either. If they had to miss a campout, at least they were going to miss the same one. Their silly and goofy presence was missed by many this year, and Haley's already been informed by one of her other cousins that she is allowed only one more absence in her lifetime, so she'd better use it wisely!
While I was visiting with my mom and one of my aunts on Friday morning, my cell phone rang. You'd think by now that when I look at my phone and see a strange number with more digits than normal, it would click that it's Haley, but it still didn't. As usual, it took us a little bit of time to connect because there is lag time every time either of us says something, and it's just hard to be patient when your adrenaline is up and you know you're finally connecting. Every other time that Haley has called, her spirits have been really good, but this time she was crying. Just as she spilled out the fact that she was homesick, we lost the call as I moved closer to the door in an effort to get better reception. Thankfully she called back relatively quickly, and we were able to talk for just a couple more minutes. She shared through her tears that the last couple days had been really hard and that she was very homesick, and my heart just took a dive right there on the spot. My natural instinct was just to cry right with her, but a strong confident approach towards the whole thing was much more important at that moment in time. Evidently my messages hadn't been getting through to her lately, so when I mentioned the fact that I was sitting in Aunt Willene's camper, I'll never forget the agonizing words that came out of her mouth:
"You're at the De Boef Campout???"
Oh, how I cringed when I knew that wouldn't help her situation. All I could do was assure her that she was very missed and loved and that people were praying for her. She shared with us that her team had won a contest which allowed them each an extra 6 minutes of phone time and that she would be able to call home again the next day for 7 minutes. Since she shared that all she really wanted was a movie with her dad, I encouraged her to call his cell phone the next day instead of mine.
"But what if it's in the middle of the night???"
Who cares!!! We'll take her call whenever she wants to call!
We went to bed that night with Harris's phone fully charged and in bed with us, but her phone call didn't come till 1 p.m. the next day. Harris was at his folks' house at the time, so I wasn't able to be a part of it, but he said she sounded much better. When I asked him what she said, he said, "I knew you would ask me that." He finally understood what I've been trying to articulate all along. The few phone calls that we've had come so unexpectedly, and when you finally get through the first moments of actually connecting, your head and heart are working so hard at trying to figure out what is most important to talk about that before you know it, her time is up, you hang up, and you realize that nothing of real significance is talked about, you can hardly even remember what was said, and all you can do is breathe a sigh of relief that she's okay and be thankful to have heard her voice. It's just one of the oddest things, and now he's able to understand that feeling as well.
The rest of the campout was just not quite the same for me. It was just as awesome as usual to connect with everyone, but my heart was with her, and it was just weird to not have her there with us. Normally I'm one of the ones who can't get enough of the campfire setting late into the night, but Saturday night I just wanted to crawl into bed early. It didn't help that I was supposed to be giving a message on Sunday morning at our family church service and still had no clear idea of what I was going to say. Two weeks prior, God laid it on my heart that I was to do some of the speaking this year, but He sure wasn't giving me any clear indication of what He wanted me to say. All I could do was crawl into bed and just pray that He would reveal it to me by 9:30 in the morning.
When I woke up and grabbed my Bible, He finally gave me some verses that triggered my message, and all I could do was pray that He would speak through me and that all the things on my heart would come out in such a way that would be meaningful to someone and glorifying to God. This De Boef family had done such a great job of supporting Haley in so many ways, and my heart was so full of thanksgiving towards them. I wanted them to know that but also to encourage them to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit in this season of their lives. Some of them may be called to go and be used of God in missions work. Some of them may be called to send just like they had done with Haley. Some of them may not even be aware that God is calling them into a deeper relationship with Him. Some of them may be called to receive others around them into their lives and be given the opportunity to minister to them.
"When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources, He will give you mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. May He be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21
My grandma also shared a message with the little kids, and I just have to share this picture with you. She captured their attention so well, and it was such a special moment for all of us, young and old alike! Just envision a whole lot more attendees off to the side!
Then when it was our family's time to share, my brother encouraged all the young men to get up and sing "Faith of Our Fathers" with him. What a wonderful thing to see and hear!
When we got home on Monday, there were a few pictures from Zambia on Facebook, and it was so good to see Haley in some of them, so I'll close by sharing them with you!
Sugar cane maybe? We don't know for sure! We just know that we'll be really glad to feed her some American food when she arrives home ...
NEXT WEEK!!!!!
(We're all just a little bit excited around here to be able to say that!)
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